Waking up in the morning, getting ready to go to a new school, I think about all the possibilities that could happen, thinking about all the new people I could meet, all those idea’s popping up in my head that make me wonder what will happen. I continue to think while I feel my hands shake due to my curious personality, “what will they think about me?” all these thoughts that I think of that keep me nervous. Although, since my brother attended this school before, I would always see him play in his basketball games and meet some of his friends; I also met someone on his team that was the same grade as me.
As I approach my new school, my brother came with me to show me where my class would be and he also helped me with my heavy school supplies. As I walked into the class I see the person I had met that was on my brother’s basketball team, and he also remembered me and said “hey!” I was still nervous because I didn’t know how private schools were like since I came from a public school. I also felt weird because it was the first time I wore a uniform before, but it didn’t bother me as much. As I sat in my assigned seat, I sat next to a girl, she seemed friendly as she greeted me knowing that I was a new student, so I assumed she attended this school before. It was a calm day, mostly because I didnt talk to anyone and sat out on most of the activities going on in class.
As I began my new life in private school, I knew some of the teachers because they attended the church that I go to. Also, I was a pretty small person being about 4’10 and I didn’t go through puberty so I had a pretty high voice. I didn’t really talk to anyone besides the boy I met from the basketball team. As I met more people throughout the year, I became much more comfortable and actually got to know some of the students, but some of them didn’t like my high voice so I was always teased for it. Even though some people constantly bullied me, there was always some kind friends who helped me out and cheered me up by joking around and talking about stories with them. Although, all these negative insults contantly being brought up, I feel like im being stabbed on the inside of my body, I feel as if no one cared that they were hurting me. All those rude comments about my voice annoying everyone and that I should just be quiet, i'd cry to myself on the inside but on the outside I look as if im happily living my life as it is, hoping that no one would come up to me and ask "are you ok?" because that would only remind me about all the bullying that im trying to forget.
The same jokes went on, teasing me on my high voice, calling me other inappropriate names, pushing me around, I laughed through it all. I had friends that I would talk to, but even when im bullied, no one ever did something to help. One day, when we were going back to class from break, one of the boys laughing in they're group, i walk by and one of them walk up to me and punch my in my crotch and due to this unexpected event, I fell to the ground, watching him laugh while on the ground, this ruined my day and I didnt talk for three days. Eventually, I let it go, but i never did forget about it, that event was one of the worst days of my life.
Throughout my middle school, I was still constantly bullied, but I just didn’t mind it, I just let it go, people always said I looked happy a lot, only because whenever I’m down, my friends would come up to me worried, and i'd just say "i'm tired." This went on throughout middle school without no end, so it wasnt an enjoyable middle school for me, I ended up disliking a lot of people due to what they did to me these past years.
Then high school started, everyone separated, but certain boys including me, were still close because we would have a skype group call almost everyday. Although, during high school, only four boys and four girls including myself, came to the same high school. One of the boys, bullied me and talked behind my back, i was told from my close friend that he still did, and I was fed up with all the bullying because i wanted to start fresh in high school. I confronted him myself, and he admitted that he did do those things, I asked him to imagine what it would be like in my shoes, I told him about all the hurtful things he and his friends did to me. He started to understand about how I felt.
Throughout the year he began to respect me more because we became friends hanging out a lot, we put the past behind us and laugh back at it. Life just seemed a bit much more simple without any bully's, and I'm less insecure about how I am. Having all these past bullying events has given me more knowledge about how it felt to be bullied then respected. I know how to deal with bullies along the way, and I chose which friends that I’d want hang out with due to all the events that have occurred throughout my middle school. These experiences help me gain more respect for myself, and helps me respect others that could also be going through what I went through.
